miniDisclosure: The following story is based upon the most fucked up experience a friend had to endure….all in the name of desire. Slight inaccuracies may occur due to the nature of the event. Heated and lengthy, my friend had asked me to share her experience. This is what I remember.
Let me first begin with this question: How many people does it take to acquire a working i-Phone 4? The answer, 17. Yup, 15 fucking idiots and the last 2 saviors to fix the mistakes and rectify the problems the last 15 had created.
The story begins with the basics of dealing with a disconnected phone line and deciding to get the very new i-Phone 4. As many of us non-ATT users, we waited in anticipation last year for Verizon to begin carrying this precious iPhone. We waited and waited…well, it wasn’t going to happen :o(
Due to circumstances out-of-her-control, the desire to own and use the precious iPhone, and the bonus of a discounted ATT bill due to one’s employer, my friend made the leap and decided to officially cross-over from Verizon to ATT. Now, many people may be aware of this fucked-up monopoly that ATT and Apple has created, but the only way to use the precious iPhone, one must become an ATT customer.
With discussions about the problems of the new iPhone 4, my friend contemplated the differences and basically said “Fuck the reviews, I’m still get the latest 4!” Knowing that there has been a delay in delivery of such a precious item, she went ahead and placed her order. In the meantime, a temporary phone and phone number was issued to her….and this was the beginning of the most jacked-up experiences one went through to finally acquire and use the new iPhone 4.
Problem 1: Where the hell is the closest ATT store to Kailua?
Due to odd working hours, it was a bit difficult to even get into a store. Finally making it in after a long and arduous work day, my friend walked in to the beginning of a massive shit-storm. Already experiencing a sudden and drastic disconnect of her then-current phone service, she walks into the ATT store seeking help. What she encounters was poor service and an jackhole worker who basically, didn’t want to do his job at servicing a customer.
Introducing….Jackhole #1 – The new employee who did not want to do his job and help, failed to listen to the problem, and basically brushed off my friend as if she were a fly. Already in an emotional state, my friend left in tears, aggravated, and simply defeated. While sitting in her car, the manager came up to her trying to find out what just happened. They went back into her store and into her office where my friend dumped all the problems that led up to that moment. In a moment of great understanding, the manager intervened and brought a bit of light into the day. What a concept, as a customer service representative, let’s find a solution to one’s problem to retain you as a paying customer. While the manager hovered over Jackhole #1, they did what they did and got my friend a temporary phone.
Waiting for the precious commences…..
My friend was told by another ATT employee that one can track the phone order via the internet/email updates. She was also given some elaborate story on how the shipping is handled as a bulk shipment, before being shipped, they wait until the order reaches a particular limit, blah blah blah blah. Never the less, the wait would take approximately 7-14 business days. Really?
Around day 6, my friend finds out that her precious order was unexpectantly cancelled, WTF!? When no one at ATT could tell her why this occurred, she was getting more pissed off as the minutes ticked away. Being transferred from one idiot to another idiot, NO ONE had an answer. The common response was “That was weird. I don’t know why that happened. We can place another order for you, but it will take approximately 7-14 business days.” WHAT THE FRACK!
Livid, she was on the verge of sending someone to the hospital!
She then proceeded to call the local ATT store in hopes to get some help and some answers. The folks on the phone could not do a damn thing and was extremely unhelpful and really demonstrated a major lack in customer service.
The local store attempted to do “their magic.” They called my friend back within 15 minutes and was told that actual iphones were available at the Apple store right now. WTF?! Yup, another WTF moment.
Seriously, the phone was actually on the island. She called the store to ensure it was in stock. The store promised they had a lot on hand and would be able to get her one this evening. We bolt to town, trying to get to the store ASAP. As the anticipation builds, my friend shows some sign of relief.
The Apple store is crowded (as usual), but she gets the process started. The “genius” is having difficulties and is really working my friends last nerve. Another problem….really!? Can this really be happening? Some jackhole ATT employee fucked up the account set-up and this caused more major problems.
A fraud-tag was placed on her account. Why? I don’t even think the ATT workers had a real answer. She would need to clear this up with the fraud department, which by the way, is actually closed for the day. She can go to an actually ATT store to get that cleared up. And just a side note, the Apple worker had no clue where the closest ATT store was. WTF? I would have thought that they should be aware of the nearest store since ATT is the only provider that works directly with their products. C’mon folks, use some brains. I also thought that maybe, just maybe, the “genius” would look up the info on his handy iphone….nope. ‘hello, is anyone home upstairs?’ So I look myself. The “genius,” so not helpful and only doing the minimum required of his job duties.”
About an hour later and more interaction with idiot ATT workers, we actually walk across the mall to an ATT store; and uh, yah, there is one in the frackin mall!
My friend first apologizes to the 15th person she had to deal with because she knows she’ll get emotional and is still very pissed off. The guy listens to her problems and assumes the role as “the savior.” Minutes later, my friend comes to join me on the bench and says that the guy is working with his manager (the 16th) to see what they can do. They worked long and hard, looking at monitor screens, talking to ‘someone’ on the phone. It appeared like they were really trying to work it out.
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
While we wait…I think my friend needs a drink. Thank goodness for those flasks I picked up the week prior! Perfect timing…an attempt to relax a bit.
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
The Savior joins us on the bench….and he actually has a solution! The clouds part and the angel start singing. The solution seemed a bit complicated, but as long as they can insure that my friend walks away with a working phone, this was the bottom line. They do their magic and insure that it will all be fine. Due to past experiences, my friend still is very apprehensive and does not believe that things will work out. She had a mini flip out when they told her that even after activating the phone, it still may not be working the next morning. WTF? The process of updating…blah blah blah…what the hell? I think to myself, thank god I have Verizon. Yes, I would love an iPhone, but not at this cost.
The 15th Savior, promises that everything will be alright. Instead of sending us back to the Apple store, he makes the decision to come with us. This guy…really wants to make sure everything goes as correctly. Although his shift is over, he still is working the case. I think things are looking up….
Back at the Apple store…I go and play with the iPad while they get to business.
My friend finds me with a smile on her face! She has her phone…and it immediately working! No more waiting! OMG! And the angels are singing again!
She’s got her PRECIOUS! And it is working!
A week later….
My friend loves her phone and still trying to convince me to get one too. I will not change service and I’m glad to not join the Apple Cult. It is all good in the lands….
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