Do you know a spiritual narcissist?

You may wonder what the heck is a spiritual narcissist?  Let me first explain how I came about this bazaar question....

I was reading an article in the Huffington Post called, The Allure of Narcissistic Spirituality, written by Rabbi Alan Lurie, and he writes:

Spiritual narcissism creates the pretense of holiness as an ego strategy to mask insecurity, receive approval, or avoid struggle and growth. "I'm a spiritual person" it proclaims proudly. "I travel to alternate realities, see auras, heal chakras, predict the future, talk to spirits, commune with angels, manipulate energies, meditate for three hours a day, harness the powers of the Universe to attract success. ... The truth is that I'm more evolved than you!"

Does this sound like you or anyone you know?  Because it sure sounded like the exact description of a person I once called a friend.  As I continued to the end of the article, the Rabbi had me thinking and questioning my own role in this ill-fated friendship.

The Rabbi continues:

Narcissistic sensitivity, however, is focused solely on the subtle nuances one's own internality, and resists looking at hard, uncomfortable truths that may upset the self image. One who is narcissistically sensitive is easily offended by the "coarseness" of others, seeks to make his environment change to align with the contours of his needs, and gets angry or offended when this does not happen.

As I began to reflect more, I realize that the dramatic emotions is actually the persons feelings that is being projected at me.  This, I realize, is not my problem but hers.  The article further mentions that "the desire to control others in order to create a "perfect" environment that nurtures our sensitivities is a calling card of spiritual narcissism."  I just had my a-ha moment!

True spirituality takes place in the holy messiness of the world, in open-hearted relationship with others, and in a kind smile to one who accidentally stepped on your foot. In that moment of connection, one can clearly see that the annoyances and upsets are actually wake up calls pulling us out of our self-involvement and in to relationship...

...and into REALITY!  So, back to the initial question: Do you know a spiritual narcissist?  If yes, don't hate them, speak negatively of them, or chastise them.  Forgive and move on.  Why let their opinions affect you?  "Kill `em with kindness."

as I continue my year (be it only 10 days in), I intend to speak my truth, act with kindness, react with love and humility, and continue my life adventures.  I will no longer allow others' destructive opinions and jealous words affect me.  Woohoo....as I do a mini jig-of-joy!

Forgive and forget.  I will not allow that which is not great into my life.  I put my foot down to the madness and allow only love into it. 

So you think I'm sounding like a nut?  So what!  Your judgements will no longer phase me.

My year in review...the final episode.

While today brings new opportunities, I am glad that mercury is no longer in retrograde and the day begins with 1.1.11.  This is already an awesome thing.  I awake with this conscious notion and begin living life.  Thank you!

As promised, I finished my year in review list.  Poignant?  Nope.  I'm just saying....so here it goes!

My Favorite Things of 2010

1) My new laptop - although it is not a feather-weight Mac, I still love my PC because it has brought me comfort, convenience, and the flexibility to get to gettin'


2) Smartphone - no more dumb ones allowed! My DroidX provides me the comfort and convenience of so much joy, like:

a) Receiving important email updates away from laptop;

b) Obtaining awesome coupons and discounts that can be used right from my phone, printing not necessary! See, I am doing a small part to help save my planet;

c) Scrabble games with distant family members. I’m staying connected to distant loved ones;

d) AngryBirds, nuff said;

e) Using Twitter as a form of getting instant traffic and weather updates while in my car. I’m not saying that I’m texting in my car while driving, not me??? And YES, I did give in to this bazaar social interaction. OK, I’ll admit it, I drunk the “juice” and I am hooked!

f) I can also make and receive a phone call….duh!?

3) Twitter - the crap that people put out there is hella funny. As Kathy Griffen says, I will be "twatting" more in the new year.

4) Reality TV - The Real Housewives, Top Chef, The Sing Off, Ghost Hunters, and the Cooking Channel

5) My Nook – my beloved e-reader. I can also use my smartphone to read the same books and they will ALL be in sync…….LOVE IT!

6) Haircuts – must keep up and get regular trims because it is paramount to do small things that just make feel good.

7) Internet shopping and earning airline miles at the same time, woot-woot! I am earning my way to a free airline ticket without doing anything extra. Now how awesome is this!?

8) Self-deprecating humor. To laugh at someone else, one must first be able to laugh at themselves. I do find my dorky-self in bazaar situations to drop the façade and dance in the streets.

9) Finishing my classes with A's and ending the year with a 3.98 GPA (the last time this was ever done was back in the 80's)

10) More high thread count, Egyptian cotton bed linens. It is so cozy and just the thought of it, makes me want to jump back in my bed and get comfy.



What I've learned in 2010

1) The ability to assess the probability of the likely failures or successes of random crap! Seriously! I can actually apply the statistical-nonsense I learned, oye.

2) Adults still lie to protect their own arses.

3) It is all right to end a friendship, really! No…..really!

4) Personal acceptance of my self-love....this is not an egotistical practice.

5) Laughter is the cure to sadness.

6) A multitude of organizations that focus on the health and conscious living.

7) Blogging IS a form of writing AND expressing my thoughts.

8) Where to find tasty tamales on Oahu, I’m just saying.

 
So now....it is time to get a gettin' and enjoying the beautiful first day of this 11 year!  Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything.

It's A Mento-Monday...

Monday: The day to recuperate from the weekend and do absolutely nothing that bares any real responsiblity.

Monday: To get caught up with all the stress-filled activities for the week and have a serious monday meltdown before the 8am.

Monday: 8:10am, the time to get my ass moving and start the week with a big bang. Get moving and get the shit done already!

"Wake up and live." - Bob Marley

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I am attempting to get consistant with addressing particular topics. Some may be downright silly, while others are a bit serious. Nonetheless, it is what it is.

My very first...

It is simply amazing how others can be clueless to the general courtesy of disclosure. For those people who reject someone via email, FRACK U!

I understand all the possible barriers that may limit someone to addressing the situation appropriately, but really? To send a rejection email to a group of people without hiding the other victims....well, where's the courtesy in this? Maybe we can contact each other to comiserate together or plot something...

My very first, mass rejection via email. Whatever frackin people. I now have a better understanding of the level of respect and professionalism you are in.

A definite WHAT THE FRACK moment. Ces't la vie!

I was never told....

I was never told that maintaining healthy friendships are difficult. While relationships are based upon the exchange with one another, I did not realize that constant communication is required. I had considered the friend as part of my family. I expected them to understand and love me unconditionally. I was wrong. I was wrong to expect anything.

Since then, I have learned to lower any expectations and to love unconditionally. I realize that the relationships we have take maintenance, but it also takes unrelentless acceptance. No one should be judged.

When codependency is the foundation of one person, it makes the relationship difficult and toxic. When one person chooses to address the problem and decides to end all over-bearing relations, they look like the bad person.

Bad person? I don't think so. More like courageous person! Kudos to those who can leave that codependent relationship. Props to those who choose to leave the toxic realtionship. Congrats to those who have finally decided to live their own healthy and happy life.

No one needs (nor deserves) to be treated like a doormat.

Make the choice...take a stand!

Ritual #1 - redux (I believe my problem is the sugar!)

I am aware...completely aware of my sugar addiction. Call me ignorant if you like, but I really love what the sugar does to my morning ritual. My need, desire, urge to get some caffeine into my system can be a bit neurotic. Please, don't start envisioning me like the crack-head druggie with the dirty hands and the constant shakes.

Isn't the raw sugar ok? (LOL)

I no longer do the white stuff; and only when I run out, do I use the brown stuff. I've tried Stevia...my coffee tastes different and I DON'T LIKE IT!

I don't want to attempt to put any of that other 'fake' stuff in either (the blue or pink packets). But when I think about it, these alternative sugars is doing the 'same' thing as ALL sugar does. It reeks havoc on our bodies.

As I try and justify my angst over my sugar problem, which is really the best? I somehow seek relief in my use of Raw Sugar. Honey....well, I DON'T LIKE IT in my coffee either! Do I keep trying to find something different or give it all up?

I hate trying something new in my cup to only find that I hate the taste. Why did I do this? I just wasted a cup of coffee! My further angst is because I really like to do it just once in the day. Making my morning coffee is not a simple process:

1) Dump out the water from yesterday and boil another batch of water.
2) Dump out the grains from yesterday and wash out my press for today.
3) Get the grinder and grind up a fresh batch of beans, place it in my press.
4) Wait...Wait...Wait...Wait...Wait!
5) I wonder how much longer until the water finishes to boil?
6) I may preoccupy myself with making the bed or cleaning up a bit.
7) The water is done...I let is sit for a bit...I pour.
8) I wait again, for the magic to happen!
9) Minutes later, I finally pour my cup of coffee.
10) Get the cream and sugar...do the scientific mixing.
11) *ouch* it's too hot to drink right away...so I let it cool down some.
12) What seems like a long time later (maybe 15-30 minutes later), I can finally enjoy my cup of coffee.

WTF? Did I just finally decipher the length of time it takes for this morning ritual? I don't care! I still love it! I still feel like I need it! I want it!

I accept my problem...I'm addicted to this. I think I have a substance dependecy issue! Oh well, ces't la vie!